As we are approaching Christmas I feel more and more disconnected from everything that is happening around me to celebrate the approaching of Christmas.
Except in church.
There is this continuance of tradition and Liturgical prayers that keeps our hearts quietly open to the real thing that we are going to celebrate on December 25th (January 7th for the believers on the old calendar): the amazing, mindblowing fact that Christ was born, from a virgin, onto this Earth, into our fallen humanity.
It is really mindblowing to me. And somehow a reason of sadness, mixed in with the celebration, knowing our fallen state, the glory that we were created for, His death on the cross, but, ultimately, His resurection.
While the entire Orthodox Christian church is preparing for this amazing event by prayer and fasting, the secular world is celebrating already.
My sincere question is, what?
I asked this to a friend of mine who is not in the church and he told me that Christmas has become a secular holiday, more like a celebration of the family.
I can understand that. Or can I?
On the one hand, I am sad that my heart is not participating anymore into all the commercial glamour that tends to surround Christmas nowadays (yes, I used to enjoy that).
On the other hand, I am grateful that I discovered something more.
In any event, I have become increasingly confused about how I feel around Christmas since I started attending church, six years ago.
Does anyone else feel the same? Any advice for my confused emotions?