We used to have our own pole and little stage. I thought that one of the coolest things was having the ability to just decide to dress sexy and dance for my king. Something to do JUST because I felt like it.
Spontaneity is very important component to me.
Take the effort you put into this holiday and just do things just BECAUSE. Those are the things that I remember more than celebrating this holiday.
Day:5 Post op surgery
My major accomplishment today was being able to stand straight without holding my stomach the entire time.
I’ve been in ALOT of pain & there’s still major swelling, but you don’t know how big of an accomplishment it is for me to stand here for this photo.
Have to focus on the small accomplishments.
This morning I had problems with nausea and vomiting due to my medication. I’m just feeling a little better now.
Moving of course still hurts and I still need help moving around.
My goal for tomorrow will be to sit completely up by myself. (The little things)
The mental pain is just setting in of just feeling empty and sad.
I hate it when people say stuff like, “hey you don’t have to worry about having a period anymore or any of those other things that you need in order to have children...” Your feelings and viewpoints are NOT my own. I LOVED having babies. It is a severe loss for me not to have the possibility there anymore. Nothing anyone says will ever change that. At least I can talk to @latterdaystt about it as he has the same exact feelings on children as I do. Working past it will also be a day by day process.
All of this will just take time to work through.
Last few days had me exposed...
But I’m healing...
One day, I will explain this entire surgery process. This was no run of the mill hysterectomy. No matter what, I’m just blessed to have pulled through. This is the new chapter I’ve been waiting so long to get to.
And so it begins!!
She’s up and feeling so much better! Surgery went well. She got her bikini cut, without cutting the muscle! 🙌🏾 She said she feels better she’s in son but in a good pain. Better than she felt before surgery. Which is awesome. Everything is great, there were / are a few abnormal few that they took and sent to labs for a biopsy but we will keep you guys posted . Thank you so much for love and prayers. So appreciated
67 67210:16 PM Feb 8, 2018
Hey guys this is @untamedxdesire letting you guys know that they just wheeled Mom back into surgery recently. She’s doing well in really good spirits. Of course a lot nervous, terrified, and just curious what the outcome will be. We surprised her with a video of just a few family and friends wishing her luck and sending her love. This was her reaction to seeing my grandfather make an appearance in the video. Genuinely shocked, overwhelmed and happy. ❤️ I will post again in a couple of hours after she’s out and give you guys an update. Just wanted to send you all into the unsettling hours of waiting with something to hold y’all over. ❤️ I’ll be giving updates all around social media and reaching out to family personally to keep y’all posted. Feel free to text me (monet) or message me personally for updates if I haven’t gotten to you. ❤️❤️❤️
SO, tomorrow is my surgery. The photo on the left was Oct 2017 JUST before things started to get really bad. The other two photos are from last night. People like to say hey it doesn’t look THAT bad or you’re still small. It’s not about ANY of that. There is something inside of me that is slowly clogging the functions of some of my organs. THATS the major issue.
I can’t fit my clothes. I have trouble wearing jeans. I’m in constant pain. I’ve had to go to the ER a total of 12 times JUST to have a catheter inserted to use the bathroom.
I haven’t been able to work. This entire thing has been a nightmare.
Also, no matter HOW anyone tries to downplay, I WANTED to have another child and that won’t happen. I’m not going to be mentally ok for awhile, BUT at least tomorrow will start the healing process. I’ve learned so much about #fibroids and #fibroidawareness. Even though SO many women have fibroids, not everyone gets to this point.
I’m happy that this new journey starts tomorrow
I will have a beautiful Frankenstein/warrior cut where I used to touch my babies before I ever laid eyes on them.
Despite all of my financial woes from being out of work and my overflow of emotion and pain, I have to focus.
Today I have to focus MY emotions and do WHATEVER necessary to prepare myself for this.
AND SO IT BEGINS...